Trump accuses Obama of “wire tapping” him in early morning tiny-thumbed Twitter tirade

Early Saturday, Donald Trump unleashed a series of tweets accusing former president Barack Obama of “wire tapping” him, an accusation for which Trump provided no evidence or sources.

When I say “early,” I mean early, as in “why the fuck am I awake so early on a Saturday?” early. Here’s the timeline:

Saturday, 4 Mar 2017–

6:35 AM

Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!

“Just found out” at 6:35 in the morning? From whom? Did you have a bad dream?

Seven minutes later, shifting gears…

6:42 AM

Just out: The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions visited the Obama White House 22 times, and 4 times last year alone.

So, “just found out” and “just out” in only seven minutes! What a busy fake news morning.

And now back to what got him tweeting in the first place…

6:49 AM

Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!

We still have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. “Is it legal for a sitting President to be ‘wire tapping’ a race for president prior to an election?” Maybe he’s just wondering aloud for future reference.

Three minutes later, with his tiny little thumbs furiously tapping his smart phone…

6:52 AM

I’d bet a good lawyer could make a great case out of the fact that President Obama was tapping my phones in October, just prior to Election!

Maybe he had to take a dump then, because there is an amazing full ten minutes of Twitter silence.

7:02 AM

How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

Note, he spelled “tap” with two “p”s.
I imagine now that he’s nodded off while watching cable news and is startled into wakefulness by the mention of Ahnold.

8:19 AM

Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t voluntarily leaving the Apprentice, he was fired by his bad (pathetic) ratings, not by me. Sad end to great show

Mr. President, you forgot the “.” at the end of that sentence. He probably was so wiped by the Twitter tirade that he fell asleep, Android phone on his tummy, before he could get it in.

Meanwhile, America and the rest of the world is wondering what the hell he’s talking about. The Washington Post surmises that Trump was getting his cue from conservative nutzoid radio guy Mark Levin and an article in Breitbart.

Anyway, what’s Trump’s goal? If he really had something to this story he wouldn’t be blasting out over Twitter. It would be handled through legal means. Yes, the way grown ups act. And it’s not like it’s a calculated act to stir up controversy. It is what it looks like: a crazy old man tweeting at six in the morning.

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